ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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