Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
