Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
