I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
