Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
