Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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