How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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