just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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