Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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