When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
