i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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