One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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