yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
