you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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