i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she peed on how many people?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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