You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
