it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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