shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
