even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
