Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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