I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
