And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
