is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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