I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
