We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
