At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
