Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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