Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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