Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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