He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
