i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize