What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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