Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
