I will die if light touches me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
