im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
