Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
