My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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