tell your sister to shave her snatch
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
