At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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