I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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