Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
