I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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