he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
