I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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