...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
