Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
