it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
