I bet he comes in French.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
