wakey wakey hands off snakey
Can Purell be used as lube?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
