have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
